Blog 7

This week, while writing my inductive report, I began to think a lot about the idea of worry. The more I focused on it, the more I realized how much worrying I have been doing recently. One night, as I went to bed with my head full of thoughts, I kept repeating to myself that I should not worry about them. However, I kept getting distracted from these thoughts with more worrying.
I had finally ceased to worry about a particular aspect of some of the changes going on in my life when I spent time with someone who brought all those worries back to a head--a very frustrating thing. But to even let that happen is an example of how weak I am in my pledge to put more faith in God and less in my own ability to solve problems and fix my worry issue. I was also reminded of our recent discussions about discipleship and what it implies to be a disciple, or a follower of God. I struggle with the fact that my best friend is a chronic worrier, and it has recently been rubbing off on me. At times it seems like it sounds silly to tell someone to stop worrying by referring to Christ's exhortation not to, since another's problems are not our own to take lightly. At the same time, however, to be a disciple is, in a sense, to be willing to say what you believe is right without worrying about how it is going to be taken. I think I also harbor such fear about sounding self righteous that I often do not say what I think is wrong or what I think the solution to a problem is, even if I think it is truly "what Jesus would do." Of course, there is the additional struggle of hypocrisy, which Jesus addresses as well. However, fear of being called a hypocrite because you worry about turning around and doing the exact thing you advise against is probably just as bad as really being a hypocrite. Sin is unavoidable, but just because we are sinners does not mean that we should not confront our loved ones with their sins. At one point in his sermon on the mount, Jesus tells us that we should not point out the speck in another one's eye while ignoring the log in our own. However, we are then later instructed to teach and correct others, and reprove if necessary. It is all a tricky business, this righteousness stuff. And worrying is at the top of it all because we end up worrying about what the Bible is really telling us, which makes us just analyze words rather than accept the heart of their meaning and the reasoning that must take place in every situation--the gray in between the black and white, I suppose.
I will continue to try to not worry, but it is a constant struggle, especially when those whom I love the most are caught up in worry's claws. I will just have to pray for the faith that I need to be able to turn things over to God and convince my loved ones to do so as well.